The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies Review


  • I don’t often do shoutouts on this site, but I am gonna shoutout this friend of mine who made it to the movies with me tonight two days before Christmas.
    • Usually I see the art house films (Birdman, Whiplash, etc.) with my dad, the really small, don’t-have-to-see-them-in-the-theater movies by myself, but these huge, blockbuster movies I always go to see with 6-8 of my friends, and we all have a good time.
  • Considering it’s the holidays, I can understand they all have stuff going on, and a few of them canceled last minute, but shoutout to Jackson for going to see The Hobbit with me, even though he didn’t have to.
    • And yeah, you better be reading this, I didn’t shout you out for nothing…


  • So let me explain to you guys my standpoint on these Middle-earth movies.
    • I saw the first Hobbit, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, in theaters when it came out.
      • And I wasn’t fully aware of how long it was gonna be, so it felt WAYYYYYYY too long.
      • That, and it had pacing that was just REALLY off, and too much exposition.
      • Still a solid movie, but not fantastic.
        • I’d say, “good.”
      • I saw the second Hobbit, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, earlier this year, in around April.
        • I was either doing homework or something while I watched it, so I don’t know how qualified I am to talk about it.
        • Also, I may have fallen asleep at some point during it…
        • Regardless, I remember more of the first Hobbit.
      • And The Fellowship of the Ring I saw earlier this year (around March), and thought was really good.
      • I have still not see The Two Towers.
      • And I remember seeing Return of the King years and years ago, thinking it was really good, though I need to see that one too.
    • However, with VERY little Lord of the Rings, Hobbit, or Middle-earth knowledge, I can honestly say that The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies is an excellent film, that stands exceptionally well on its own, and does not feel at all like it was just extended for cash-grab purposes.


  • Like I said, I don’t remember much from Desolation of Smaug, but I do remember feeling like it had a little bit too much plot being untold throughout it, which would make sense, since this one has lesser plot.
    • Some critics have said that this movie has no plot, and it’s just some pointless battle that never ends.
      • A) It has a really solid, character-based plot.
      • 2) That’s why I’m not a self titled ‘critic,’ I’m jut some dude who talks about movies for fun.
    • But the characters really are the forces that drive this movie.
    • All of these characters are thrown at you during the first half hour of An Unexpected Journey, and you’re like, “whoa. Slow it down. PLEASE.”
      • In Desolation of Smaug, the characters are built up a bit more, but you’re still like, “wait, which dwarf is that again?”
    • In Battle of the Five Armies, it doesn’t matter because it takes the most important characters (Bilbo, Legolas, Gandalf, Thorin, Evangeline Lily) and just runs with their stories.
      • And those stories are really intriguing.
    • First off, let’s clear up the cast: everyone in this cast is great.
      • Even The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey established that.
    • And the characters in this movie are actually a LOT deeper than they were in An Unexpected Journey, or from what I remember of Desolation of Smaug.
    • Let’s take Thorin and his story for example.
      • Thorin was the one dwarf that we all knew from an Unexpected Journey, and I remember seeing his story continue through Desolation of Smaug.
      • In Battle of the Five Armies, I loved seeing his saga conclude in the way it did.
      • Not only the story of Thorin the character, but what it means to be powerful, and how you should be remembered.
      • His character is really going through a game of cat-and-mouse not only with the other characters, but also with his emotions.
    • Bilbo’s story isn’t completely the focus of this movie, but I didn’t expect it to be.
      • When they extended the series from two movies to three, I realized that after the second one they probably had everyone established and could just run with the third.
      • And that’s what they did with the relevant characters.
        • Bilbo is still relevant in this movie, but you never feel cheated when the other characters appear to have more screen time.
      • I do love how his story concludes too, and the parallel it holds.
    • Evangeline Lily was really good in this movie too, though her romance with Dwarf Number 6 felt a little under done.
      • I’m told that they covered more of it in the previous movie.
      • Granted, it still felt real and the consequences hit when their romance was being explored and the strains were being shown.
    • Overall, the characters became the spotlight of this movie, and each one that was explored felt relevant, and I enjoyed seeing the story of each one.


  • There’s no spoilers or anything here, but I do want to discuss how I felt at the end of this movie.
  • I’m not a Middle-earth fanboy.
    • Like I explained earlier, I haven’t even fully experienced the entirety of the Middle-earth saga.
  • Alright, sorry, but the next two bullet points are spoilers, sorry!
    • However, at the end of this movie, when it transitioned into the beginning of the Lord of the Rings, I felt goose bumps and a little shiver of excitement down my neck.
      • I thought it was really neat how the two were merged.
    • Spoiler Free Zone!
    • And when the movie concluded, I just sat in my seat in Auditorium 3, and couldn’t help but feel sad that the Middle-earth saga was over, at least for now.
      • I’m not even a huge fan, but I knew that this enormous multi-film-series franchise that’s been building for over a decade is now over (for now).
      • It’s kind of sad in a way, and it makes me want to go back and re-watch all of the Middle-earth movies during my vacation.
        • I look at Harry Potter, and I was disappointed when that ended because I was a fan and reader of those for years.
        • When this franchise has the same effect, and I’ve only seen about half of the movies in the franchise, that’s freakin’ impressive.

Runtime and 3D

  • I’ll talk about the 3D in this movie first, cuz it was kinda weird.
  • The first five minutes or so, it looked really weird and unlike a lot of 3D I’d seen before.
    • It kinda looked like (and let me explain myself) a green screen.
      • But only because each character looked so crisp, clean, and emphasized compared to the background.
    • Every person on screen was SO clear and SO HD that it really was the definition of 3D.
      • It actually looked like someone was popping off of the screen at you.
    • Though it did kind of make the sets look like sets for the first five minutes or so until your eyes adjust.
      • It looked like The Hobbit: The On-Stage Musical! or something until five minutes in.
    • That’s really part of what made this an experience for me, though I don’t know if it was worth 4 extra bucks…
    • If you guys want to try something cool, then see it in 3D, but other than that, 2D is fine.
  • You guys have heard me complain about running time a lot in the past couple months.
    • So many movies feel like they’re way too long nowadays.
      • Including The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, which I thought would be about 2 hours and was actually about 9 days long (it was 169 minutes, or 2hr. 49min.).
      • But I was expecting this movie to be another bloated, weirdly-paced Middle-earth movie.
    • It wasn’t.
    • The pacing of this movie was done really well.
      • Almost too well.
    • This movie was about 2 and a half hours, it only felt like 1hr 45min.
      • Some reviewers have complained that way too much of the movie was a battle.
      • I thought that the emotion, character-building, and battle were all perfectly distributed, almost more so than Deathly Hallows Part 2.
    • I was pleased that it felt shorter too, because none of it felt added in.
      • You know they had to add crap in after the series was extended from two films to three, but none of this felt extended.
      • Was it long?
        • Sure.
      • Did it all feel necessary?
        • Yeah.


  • The few flaws I have with this movie are simple things.
  • The first was during a couple of the battle sequences, it felt a little bit too unrealistic at points.
    • The first was when one character would single-handedly defeat like 10 orcs at once.
      • Yeah, that’s a bit unbelievable…
    • That, and when the guy DEFIED GRAVITY.
      • There was a scene where this bridge was collapsing, and one character was running to avoid falling with the bridge.
      • Long story short, he jumped on individual bricks, as they were falling, and he miraculously made it safety.
      • So I guess he’s faster than gravity?
      • Alrighty then…
    • Other than that, the movie felt really thorough and completely fleshed out.

In Conclusion

  • In conclusion, The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies was a movie that I went into expecting just one huge battle the entire time.
    • Holy crap, I was wrong!
  • The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies was truly this built character piece on loyalty, trust, staying true to yourself, and well, hobbits.
  • I just thought this would be some mediocre movie that was a cash-grab, but it’s one of my favorite movies of 2014.


  • Ironically, this is my longest review on the site so far!  Thanks to all of you who read the whole thing!!


So guys, those are my thoughts on The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies. Have you guys seen this movie, and what was your favorite Hobbit film? (I’d say this one, though again, I can’t really qualify without re-watching the second.) Whatever those answers may be, let me know down below, and as always, thanks for reading guys.

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