Review

• Alright, now I was a big fan of the first Ted movie and I never saw A Million Ways to Die in the West, so my hopes for Ted 2 were pretty good.
• I knew it wouldn’t be as good as the first and I was right.
• It’s actually pretty bad…

• Okay, so Ted 2 is the sequel to 2012’s Ted. Ted is this teddy bear who was brought to life magically and is still best friends with his childhood bestie John. But now they’re in their 30s and Ted is doing all the things you’d never think a teddy bear would.
• That’s the premise of the first movie anyway.
• This movie is just kinda all over the place…
• But first let’s talk about a couple of positives: Ted and John have really good chemistry in the movie. I loved these guys together in Ted 1, and it continues over to here.
• It boggles my mind how Mark Wahlberg is acting this well when there’s only like a tennis ball and some wires that are the no-effects Ted. You feel like he’s talking to an actual moving teddy bear that’s there with him!
• And Seth MacFarlane is a great voice for Ted, even if he is super similar to the Peter Griffin voice.
• Amanda Seyfried is in the movie as Mark Wahlberg’s love interest because apparently Mila Kunis was written out of this one…
• I like parts of Amanda Seyfried’s character, like she’s this business-esque lawyer who’s not very pop culture savvy and she’s kinda shy. But then you throw in these twists like she actually gets high all the time and she’s super fun to hang around with. It’s almost like they wrote the lawyer as one character and the love interest as another and then combined them into one.
• Amanda Seyfried gave a good performance in the movie though, she was likable for sure.
• And Ted’s girlfriend Tammie-Lynn is back for this movie and she was pretty funny for the small amount of time she was in it.
• Then there’s a ridiculous amount of cameos, some of which work, some of which feel a little unnecessary.
• And speaking of unnecessary, oh my God, let’s talk about the writing of this movie.
• I’ll say this: there were some funny jokes in the movie. There were points where I laughed for sure.
• But the first problem is that the best jokes in the movie were in the trailer. The Tom Brady sequence that you saw during the Super Bowl, yeah that was the funniest part of the movie. (Or maybe that’s just cuz I’m from Boston…). The sperm bank scene too, that’s the other funniest scene in the movie.
• But the second problem with this movie is that when the jokes aren’t absurd (like the Tom Brady or sperm bank scenes), they just feel so lazy.
• I promise you that every other joke in this movie is a weed joke. They had weed jokes in the first Ted that were pretty funny, but I feel like you had to actually be high to enjoy the humor in this movie. And since I don’t do drugs at all, I was just sitting there watching this humor that came off as lazy humor or stoner humor.
• Before I move into the overall story I’ll say why that’s a problem: the first Ted was this really smart comedic movie that had drugs and alcohol as like a secondary element to it. If the writers didn’t know what to say, MAYBE there’d be one pot joke. But the primary source of the laughs was the absurdities and the witty banter between the characters. You had two or maybe three absurdities in this movie, and all the witty banter just wasn’t there.
• Alright, now let’s discuss the overall layout of this movie.
• The first Ted flowed like a movie should. It had a first act, a second act, and a third act. Then roll credits.
• Ted 2 flowed like an episode of Family Guy.
• EXACTLY like an episode of Family Guy.
• In Family Guy, there’s always one thing going on at the beginning like the mayor is an alien or something, but then after about 6 minutes it moves into what the episode is really about, say Peter has the bubonic plague. That first 6 minutes is just like a standalone gag meant to transition into the main problem. Then the last ten minutes are a somewhat separate resolution to that Peter has the plague issue.
• That’s exactly what Ted 2 was.
• The first 20-25 minutes is Ted and Tammy-Lynn wanting to have a baby. But then that transitions into the main problem.
• The main problem is that Ted isn’t recognized as a person. So we spend the middle of the episode dealing with that. But then the last 35 minutes is an unexpected resolution to that problem with its own little sub-adventure, we’ll call it the road trip in this movie.
• Again, that’s what I consider lazy.
• It’s fine for Family Guy when the episodes are 20-22 minutes long but for a 105 minute movie, it falls completely flat.
• So at the end of the day guys, Ted 2 does have good character chemistry and it did have a lot of potential, but the jokes fell so flat and I only laughed a couple of times. The pacing felt off and the writing was WAY off.
• I’m gonna say Ted 2, Yeah It’s DEFINITELY Not Worth Your Time.

***

So guys, those are my thoughts on Ted 2. What did you guys think of this movie, and what did you think of it compared to the first Ted? Let me know in the comments down below, and as always, thanks for reading guys.