Jurassic World SPOILER-FILLED Review

Preface

  • Spoiler Alert!
  • Okay, if you guys haven’t yet seen Jurassic World (which seems impossible seeing how much it made opening weekend) then this post is filled with spoilers.
  • Usually I’ll say, “hey read my Spoiler-Free Review then check out the movie then check out this review.”
  • BUT instead, you can still do that if you really want to savor the experience, or you could stay here and read a full Spoiler-Filled Review.
  • By that I mean, Jurassic World wasn’t the greatest movie in the world, so you could just read some of the particular aspects I had trouble with and still go into the movie knowing that and having a good time.
  • Either way, if you’ve seen the movie or not, we’re going into Spoiler Territory from here on out!

Cast and Characters

  • Okay, so starting off with who we’re supposed to be rooting for as the main star of this movie is Bryce Dallas Howard.
  • And as I mentioned before, she gave a good performance in the scenes like the brontosaurus dying (more on that later) but her character just felt way too unwritten.
  • Let’s take her first appearance in the movie: she’s in the elevator in high heels, dress, and has a Bluetooth in prepping herself for her meeting with these investors.
  • This conveys to me that she’s a business woman, which you could just infer from what she’s wearing.
    • Having her needlessly preparing for the meeting, by like rehearsing who she’s going to meet just seemed a bit pointless and like it was trying to beat you over the head with who she is.
  • Like I said, the actress does a good job but the script never gives her time to develop the character and make you root for her.
    • You could have shown her talking to her nephews and feeling bad about not being able to see them, and she’s just kinda bogged down with her job, then by the end of the movie she makes clear that family is more important.
    • That would have been like a familial aspect from the first Jurassic Park, but the character had none of that and just didn’t feel developed enough.
  • Chris Pratt was awesome though.
  • You see the trailer, and you’re like, “is this raptor-whisperer thing gonna work, c’mon…”
  • I swear to God, the raptor-Pratt relationship was literally my favorite relationship in the entire movie.
    • That sounds like a joke, but it’s true!
  • And Pratt wasn’t just being a clown in this, or even sarcastic much.  He did remind me in some parts of Ian Malcolm, and if the movie focused on his character even more then I think it could have been an even better movie.
  • The kids in this movie, like I said, I didn’t mind as much though there were parts where they got on my nerves.
  • I’ll talk more about the divorce subplot next, but when Ty Simpkins started crying on the train I’m like, “you guys couldn’t have talked about this in your huge hotel suite?”
  • And the older kid too, I appreciated his character because as the movie goes on he starts caring more about his brother and recognizes the circumstances they’re in, but that kid was a dog.
    • He has a girlfriend that cares about him, yet he’s staring at literally every other woman in the entire movie?  Dog…
  • And I didn’t mention this guy in my Spoiler-Free review because he is definitely a love/hate relationship character: but the guy in the control room who was just kind of a slacker.
    • There was a point where I thought he kind of resembled Jeff Goldblum and I was wondering if they would make him Ian Malcolm’s son or something.
    • They didn’t but that would’ve been funny.
    • He was probably the most real character in the movie, and I enjoyed seeing him as just a lazy worker, as you would imagine some of the people at these theme parks are.
      • Shoutout to that dorky 25 year-old working the Gyrosphere ride too, cuz he encapsulated that perfectly too.
  • But now we talk some negative…
  • Vincent D’Onofrio for instance I thought was the worst character in the entire movie.
  • He was SO stereotypical and so one or none-dimensional.  He was a military man, who wanted to weaponize dinos.  And that was his thing.
  • I’ve said it before, if you completely took that character and his subplot out of the movie then I would have given this movie a positive score.
  • Irrfan Khan too, he was supposed to be the John Hammond of this movie but you didn’t really care about him because he had no connection to the dinosaurs and only wanted the money.
    • Granted, he didn’t bother me as much as D’Onofrio but he was still a slimy guy that they could have improved upon a bit.

Script

  • But now we move into the real mess: the script.
  • It’s funny, Wordpress (who is the source behind this site) tells me the search terms you guys use to find these posts, and I want to give a big shoutout to the guy who found my Jurassic World Review the other day by searching, “so many subplots jurassic world.”  That made my day!
  • BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY!
  • The military subplot, like I said, ruined the whole movie.
  • Then there’s the fact that the kids’ parents are apparently getting divorced.  Okay.  It’s brought up once and never returned to over the course of the entire movie.
  • Let’s not forget about the pterodactyl attack that I thought would lead into the climax of the movie.
  • And there’s where we bring in our three act system.
  • I thought that the Indominus-Rex would storm into Jurassic World right after the pterodactyls were taken care of, and finish off the movie in a clean two-hours.
  • But instead, they brought in the military right after the pterodactyls which just seemed unnecessary in the weaponizing raptors subplot of a subplot.
    • How ridiculous is that by the way?
    • Weaponizing dinosaurs, some of the other stuff I could take but c’mon that’s just lazy…
  • And my other big problem with the script is that the first half hour felt very long because of how much background they were putting into the Indominus-Rex, but also because of how much they were still teasing us.
  • For instance, I liked that we weren’t sure what the hybrid was entirely made of until almost the end of the movie, but you didn’t need to tell us how the I-Rex was made, the conditions it was in, and foreshadow us so much.
  • And there was so much predictability in this movie too.
  • To the point where the scene where it’s like, “oh no, where the Indominus-Rex go?”
  • The second they couldn’t find it, my buddy turned to me in the theater and said, “it’s still in there.”
    • Sure enough, hey it was still in there!
  • And even to the further point where when they were in the forest and they couldn’t find the I-Rex originally, that same friend turned to me and said, “is it part cuddlefish or something?”
    • And hey, it was!
    • Maybe that’s just cuz he’s a freak…
  • But there were parts of the movie I did like, mostly the action.

Action

  • My favorite scenes in this movie were of course the end fight with the tyrannosaurus and the scene where the I-Rex first gets out.
    • Yeah even though we knew it was still in that enclosure…
  • Ultimately, those two scenes had the action, the suspense, the thrills from the original Jurassic Park that I had hoped we would have seen more of in this movie.
  • And even though we didn’t, those two scenes were REALLY cool.

In Conclusion

  • In Conclusion guys, I still think Jurassic World is probably worth skipping to the normal movie goer, but maybe check it out on cable.
  • However, if you’re in the mood to turn off your brain and just enjoy a monster movie with some fun scenes then I think you’d have a good time with this movie for sure.
  • But ultimately, it just wasn’t for me.  That doesn’t mean I’m not super excited for the sequels though, because I am optimistic in seeing where the franchise goes from here.

***

So guys, that’s my Spoiler-Filled Review of Jurassic World! What were your guys favorite or least favorite parts of this movie and was the product placement a too much for you?  (It was for me.)  Let me know in the comments down below, and as always, thanks for reading guys.

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